I was flicking through the paper today when I half saw an article featuring a picture of comedian Peter Kay and Leonardo da Vinci - not a double act you see very often. Turns out it was about a recent Arts Awards survey, which asked several thousand people to name their 'heroes in the arts'. As it happened the Bolton funnyman polled fifth, whilst the Renaissance decorator came out on top. You can imagine the teeth-gnashing in the broadsheets. "Banksy above Picasso? Walt Disney above Jane Austen?" Even more so with the shock absence of Shakespeare, Dickens and Michaelangelo. The overall top ten arts heroes were revealed as: -
1 Leonardo da Vinci
2 Bob Dylan
3 Andy Warhol
4 Walt Disney
5 Peter Kay
6 Jane Austen
7 Banksy
8 Bob Marley
9 Nick Park
10 Picasso
Good to see a fellow Prestonian in the top list there (Nick Park, creator of Wallace and Gromit; freeman of the city). Of course, this is such a colossally pointless exercise. I'm not sure what the constraints were, but everyone has different personal definitions of 'hero'; and 'art' for that matter. I happen to believe Leonardo was a genius, a true legendary figure in human history. But he's not a hero of mine. I also think Peter Kay is a genius (and I wonder what he makes of an appearance in the top five?), but he's not a 'hero of the arts' either. So what would be my top ten? Bearing in mind Hero is described as "a person who is admired or idealised for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities...", and as a youngster growing up, my heroes wouldn't be playwrights or painters. So here are my own personal Heroes in the Arts...
Sir David Attenborough
At the top of any list of heroes, this man is a national treasure. Legendary naturalist and broadcaster, he changed the face of nature television and documentary making, and is still going aged 81. His new series, Life in Cold Blood, covers reptiles and amphibians and will once again be required viewing for anybody with an interest in the world around us. I hope it's many, many years from now - but when his time comes - a national day of mourning far more deserved than any vacuous royal should be given for him.
Boba Fett
Tough for me to include 10 heroes from the arts, and only one from the Star Wars films. As I went on about recently, they defined my childhood - and Boba Fett was the man. He came to an unfortunate end in the Sarlacc Pit, but before then he calmly stood in the shadows and watched, he never spoke, everybody feared him, and he could fire rockets from his elbows. He managed to capture the second coolest man in space (Han Solo), for crying out loud. And he could fly. Charging around the playground at Queen's Drive junior back in the mid-80's, I wasn't pretending to be Luke Skywalker.
The A Team
The greatest television show ever, bar none. With a moral message about teamwork and respect repeatedly rammed home every Saturday afternoon, the fantastic foursome dominated weekends for youngsters everywhere. Family-friendly, with catastrophic gunfights, car crashes, and even plane crashes causing occupants to stagger out, slightly limping, the A Team always came to the rescue of the little guy. Every episode was essentially the same - downtrodden locals, rich evil man with M-16 toting goons, a pretty girl for Face to get off with, Murdoch annoying Mr T, a mechanical montage, Hannibal in 'disguise' - "who let this one-eyed tinker past the guards?", someone being thrown through a window, and the plan always coming together.*
Hal and Roger Hunt
Not just television on my list of course - from the field of literature come the Hunt brothers, stars of Willard Price's 'Adventure' series of novels. Think the Hardy Boys with animals. No preppy New England crimefighting here, the Hunts travelled the world catching animals for their father's Long Island zoo (Price wrote most of them in the 1950's and 60's). Each was disctinctly titled - Amazon Adventure, South Sea Adventure, Volcano Adventure. Featuring suspect natives, cannibals, and even an entire book about whaling, they might not be PC these days, but for a ten year old boy there's little better.
Terry Nutkins
Missing out on the black and white era of children's TV, I never saw Johnny Morris do his thing - but our generation had a more than adequate replacement. He didn't transpose comic voices onto animals, as that sort of thing didn't wash in the more cynical 1980's. Instead, Terry Nutkins presented countless kid's wildlife shows by sitting in a studio gamely clinging to whatever it was he was talking about. Whether it was a goose, a cheetah cub, or a Amazonian pangolin, he'd be grappling with it as the thing tried to bolt for the shadows, yet at the same time reeling off all kinds of facts. He had extra gravitas as he only had 8 fingers, having lost two to a rogue otter some years before. Respect, Terry.
Gary Chalk
More literary heroes here, and an artist in my list. Not Picasso or Warhol, but a man who started out drawing black and white pictures for an obscure series of adventure books. The Lone Wolf series of what are sometimes described as 'choose your own' adventures, first came to our attention in 1984 with Flight from the Dark. The books, where you go through the story by making decisions and turning to the appropriate page to continue, are non-existant now - but were huge back then - Flight from the Dark sold 100,000 copies in it's first month of release. Written by Joe Dever, the fantastic pictures were drawn by Gary Chalk, and my Dad used to read them out to my brother and me, and we would bicker about what we should do next. It's one of my fondest childhood memories, and Chalk's illustrations brought it all to life.
Tony from Bullseye
Recently voted the 11th most important Tony in British history (I kid you not, he finished between Tony Benn and Tony Hart), Tony Green was - and still is - the voice of Bullseye. The second part of the most ultimate Saturday night lineup ever, on right after the A-Team, Bullseye is of course the seminal darts-related gameshow. Jim Bowen was the host and drole miserablist (and my Dad can tell a story about him that would be libellous if I were to repeat it here), so Tony the scorer was the ray of light. How much of a hero was he? Just read his catchphrases, as listed on his Wikipedia entry..."It's a Bullseye! And here's your host, Jiiiim Bowen" "OK, Take your time. Nice and easy. Nice and easy..." "Iiiiiiiin one" "Ohhhhhh... that's the gamble I'm afraid." "Best o'luck." "...and Bully's special prize..." "One Hundred and Eiiiighhtyyy"
Gordon the Gopher
Possibly stretching the definition of the word hero here, but I would say Gordon the Gopher was admired for his noble qualities. He didn't have much courage, admittedly - especially that famous clip of him being menaced by a puppy, which still has me in stitches when I see it. If you have no idea what I'm on about, Gordon was a puppet gopher used as a sidekick to children's TV host Phillip Schofield in the BBC broom cupboard, many years ago. He wore a leather jacket, squeaked a lot, and generally ruled the roost. Replaced cruelly by Edd the Duck, he will never be forgotten. Bizarrely, Schofield claimed in an interview that Gordon had recently become an alcoholic, and died in a ram-raiding accident.
The pixellated Daley Thompson
Not the man himself - the UK's most celebrated Olympic decathlete - but the videogame he fronted, the legendary Daley Thompson's Decathlon. Today computer games are a more respected artistic medium (or they are if you are under a certain age), so it's only right to include them in my list. But why Daley instead of Sonic or Mario or Donkey Kong? Well, for a start he was a real person. Secondly, I only ever played the game at the Blackpool arcades. The yellow-topped ball joystick was great fun to waggle (as it were), sending the blocky decathlete pinging down the longjump pit, or wherever. Looking back, the game was utter rubbish (they even got his skintone wrong, portraying him as being caucasian), but since when did things being crap stop them from being a hero?
Penfold from Dangermouse
...which brings us nicely to the final entry, and the most fantastic cartoon character ever. Dangermouse was simply brilliant, and yet his sidekick Penfold stole every scene he was in. A short-sighted hamster, always turned out in a blue suit and stripey tie, Penfold bumbled along with the dashing Dangermouse on his adventures. In every episode, he would get into trouble (usually just as DM was about to solve the case), and have to be rescued. Perfectly voiced by Terry Scott, his "Crumbs!" catchphrase summed him up perfectly. As much as I enjoy watching the escapades of Homer, Cartman, Stewie, Bender and so-on, Penfold took my heart a long time ago. He truly is a hero from the arts.
*The one where the A-Team are holed up in a barn and cobble together a steam-powered cabbage bazooka is possibly the greatest single television episode ever.
Disney ousts Dickens in Arts Hero survey
Daley Thompson's Decathlon
Gary Chalk's Official website
Flight from the Dark cover art
YouTube clip of Gordon the Gopher's mauling
